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More of Ko-san’s feelings for TVXQ

April 10, 2010

T/N: Tohoshinki’s dancer KO-san updated his blog with an entry about Tohoshinki yesterday, but for some reason he deleted it. However, fans were able to get a hold of what he wrote before he deleted the whole entry.

I had a lot of trouble to decide whether or not I should write this blog entry.

I’ve been working with them for 4 years.

Coming back from America, I went to their 2nd Tour’s audition without knowing who they were.

They were Tohoshinki.

I was able to learn a lot during their tour.

It took me 4 years to remember their names.

I’d always wanted to return to America, but then I came that by working with them, it actually became meaningful for me to stay in Japan, and that was something that I could be proud of.

It was also the first time that my family went to watch me on stage.

Our dancers were a family.
SONNY-san, YU-KI-san, GEN-san, RYO-san, 50
We’ve made a lot of memories up until now, and I love everyone way so much it’s unbelievable.

I also really want to say thanks to avex’s female staff members who have put all of us together, the people who have worked with all their minds for the sake of the tour even and taken care of it more than their own personal matters.

We laughed a lot, talked a lot, and sometimes cried together. And we also danced together. I also want to say thanks to my girlfriend for all of her uttermost efforts.

Thanks to them (Tohoshinki), I was able to meet you guys.

And thanks to them, I might have become a little more filial?

The more I write, the more I can’t stop my tears.

I have never once heard any complaint coming from them.

They laughed so well.

YunHo
As a leader, he was doing his job so well, and he also put his most uttermost efforts into dancing. He’s also the one who talked to us the most. I really loved his adlibs, his break dances, and his opening parts.
During “Summer Dream” we played rock-paper-scissors a lot, and I won! LOL

ChangMin
It took me 4 years to remember his name. The one who’s always diligent and serious yet a very gentle and kind person. However, he completely became a different person when he got on stage, and it was very interesting to watch his suddenly change. He always read book in the resting room, and was always serious in whatever he did. I still remember his smile in “Sky” even now. From the minute he was told to do his work well, he really did his best. No, really, he was really doing his very best.
I want to become ChangMin in front of my family! But who am I now! LOL
(The hardworking maknae eh?)

JeJung
Can I say that he’s the loneliest? He’s the one who makes the most eye contact with everyone while singing~
He has such a beautiful voice that always fascinated us. When I just came back after my injury, JeJung was the one who was shouting out for me the loudest from the stage. When JunSu injured himself too, he was the one who rushed to him the fastest, and also the one who was the most worried.
JeJung is a very gentle and deep person.

JunSu
Normally he’s a big idiot? He’s very charismatic on stage, and he always practiced his oyaji gags with me seriously.
I cried at his singing voice, and whenever I saw him dancing, his tension was always at its MAX.
When everyone already decided to choose “Rainy Night” as JunSu’s solo, with a face that was happier than anyone else, he asked me in front of everyone, “Ko-san, what do you want?” and I thought to myself, “This guy is such an idiot!” LOL (T/N: the way Ko-san uses the word “idiot” here does not in anyway mean to insult JunSu, rather, he’s saying it in a lovable and respectable way, because JunSu genuinely respected Ko-san’s opinion even though everyone already made a decision)
However, later, at a place with no one else, he told me with a serious face, “Ko-san, I know everyone has a different opinion, so tell me, do you really think that it is the best?”

Because he’s way too serious, I still remember that it was very hard to tell him things like “This part feels weird”, “No, fix your lyrics”, “JunSu’s song is not good”. Thank you for your singing and dancing to wonderful songs on a wonderful stage at that time.

When he injured himself, he cried.

Charismatic, he is really charismatic.

YuChun
I think he’s the one who’s the closest to me.
Really, truly.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s too hard to write now.

The time when we swing the towel together, we decided on the winner, but we didn’t do high-fives.

Everyone please don’t misunderstand, it’s not YuChun who didn’t do high-fives, it’s me who didn’t do it.

That’s why I’m saying it now, because we were very playful towards each other! LOL

When we were filming for a PV, he said, “What will Ko-san be doing until everyone comes? We don’t need Ko-san.”

He really did it~ Even though he’s the artist, this guy… this jerk really said that. (T/N: Again, he doesn’t mean to insult YuChun. He said this because they were really playful towards each other, just like when YuChun said they didn’t need Ko-san)

He’s the most emotional one and the one that is the most suitable for the stage, in my opinion.

I still have a lot of memories about them to write.

Rather than what the media has been writing, there are a lot of truths that no one knows about.

I absolutely do not believe in what the media writes. (Honestly, this really made me relieved)

I have a lot of worries and a lot of piled up memories, so it’s not a simple thing to write them all down.

For me, what I write in my blog is all from my heart.

My feelings got very complicated when the news of their “paused activities” was announced to the world.

I also received an email from avex.

However, there was nothing I could do.

To my family, my friends, and everyone who’s been supporting me, I am so thankful of you guys that I just can’t put my feelings to words.

Myself, I was able to make a lot of memories and experiences thanks to them (Tohoshinki).

However, I’m not going to end here, I will continue to grow.

For my own sake, for my mom, and for them.

Never stop.

If I try my best then maybe someday we’ll be able to work together again.

It might be a solo, I don’t know in what form will they be coming back.

However, no matter what form they’ll come back in, I seriously want to work with them again.

It will absolutely absolutely come true.

My feelings will never change.

I think I will love them until I die.

I think I will listen to their songs until I die.

Thank you for everything up until now.

And

Please take care of me from now on too.

Source: KO-san’s Blog + ms1221
Translation: linhkawaii @ OneTVXQ.com
Credits: OneTVXQ.com { One World. One Red Ocean. One TVXQ! }
Feel free to repost, but please leave the full credits intact. Thanks!

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